This question popped in my mind because I just noticed it in the workplace. How and why? Not really from other people's obvious acts but from as narrow as my daily e-mails. Or should I say, as narrow as my Lotus Notes.


I have a name, that if it is read in a Dutch manner, it would be perfectly male. In fact, even in the Philippines, I was always mistaken as a male if the one who reads my name does not see me in person. Thus, with e-mails, I put my name (of course, especially as a signature)and the reply always starts with "Mr.". That is not new to me though and I do know that my name is indeed male sounding. I know it so I simply smile everytime I receive a response to my email and it (more often than not) starts with Dear Mr....

I don't allow this continuous mistake though. The moment I read the Mr., I reply with the correction that it is a lady's name and not a gentleman's. And all the rude/not so pleasant approach in writing the e-mail suddenly become so soft and sweet with an apology for having a wrong prefix to my name. Isn't that sweet?

Don't get me wrong though: it happens to both male and female colleagues or contacts. The same reaction, the same male-name notion and the same attitude. Whether it is a male or a female, they just become mellow when they know that it is a lady/female sending e-mails to them (I, for this matter). In fact, just this morning, I received a very dry tone of email as if telling "Go to hell, don't bother me anymore!" Naturally, that has a Mr. at the start (and No Dear)... However, as soon as I replied with the correction of gender, I got a quick reply of apology and a joke attached to it. "I prefer ladies." See!!!??? I told ya! I even got successive follow-up e-mails on old contract issues after that!

Any idea on this? I know I am a good negotiator and do not encounter any work problems, be with colleagues, clients, or any one else, thus I cannot really say something about this gender issue. Any opinions from your end?.